Introduction

Who am I? Just a software engineer diagnosed with severe PTSD and depression stuck in a cycle of terrible pain. I was laid off many times, lately from 100M+ dollar startup even though my technical skills were excellent. I couldn’t focus; I was a pushover, cried in the toilets. Something was wrong with me; I had constant flashbacks related to my childhood, raised in poverty, slept in 1 bedroom with my brother, father, mother; being bullied in school, saw my father rape my mother, first sex when 24 with a prostitute — so much pain in my life. Programming was helpful, so now I can have a good job and friends, but flashbacks didn’t disappear, been in this state so long that I don’t even know what’s normal. I have been taking nootropics for ten years, seen multiple shrinks, and been on meds for 2+ years with no noticeable change. I was desperate, and when SSRIs and benzos couldn’t help, I started my adventure with psychedelics. I hated drugs I never wanted to use them I thought they are for weak, for addicts, at one point in my life I would be the person that wouldn’t be against a death penalty for using drugs. These people need to die. I was so wrong, and I am sorry for that. I was broken.

My first psychedelic adventure was with LSD, and it was terrific. I remember like it was yesterday, taking two tabs of not so potent acid under the tongue. I thought it probably wouldn’t work. Then an hour passed and walls started morphing, I put my Bluetooth headphones on, picked L$D from ASAP ROCKY, and went to park. The afterglow lasted for one day, and I was back to being miserable. Maybe I need a more significant dose? Nope, it didn’t help. Perhaps I need more potent psychedelic? Smoked DMT dozen times, this shit is nasty, my inner child broken enough that DMT does more harm than good. I was hesitant to try MDMA, worried about neurotoxicity, but I had to try. There were no other options, MDMA had a breakthrough status for PTSD. It worked the first time, the afterglow lasted two days, but then the magic was lost. My only help stopped working after the first time. I needed desperate measures. I was looking for alternatives, even booked Ibogaine trip, but finally didn’t go. Too scared of dying in some creepy place in Costarica.

I started to search for alternatives, Methylone, 4-fa, Kratom. Nothing worked even a bit, nothing even remotely close to MDMA or LSD. My depression got even worse as I was utterly hopeless.

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New hope

Then one day, I smoked my last bit of DMT. I said, „Fuck it, last time, I am ending with psychedelics. I need some Vodoo, EMDR, or Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation„. My most intense DMT trip, I was pushed beyond my typical interdimensional stuff and started to see chemical symbols. I saw two chemical symbols, I sucked at chemistry in school but tried to remember those two, I felt they are significant I used some mnemonic tricks to pick them up, and the trip started to fade away. I was repeating my mnemonic as fast as I can and started to hear interdimensional screams. They were terrifying. I felt like I saw something that I shouldn’t. If you have ever done DMT, you know, it’s tough to take something back from there. I landed safely in my bedroom, and the mnemonic chain was fuzzy, I rushed for pen and paper and spent 5 hours recovering my mnemonic.

It came up that these substances were: 5-MAPB and Memantine. I didn’t know them before and didn’t what it all meant. Should I take them together or separately? I researched these compounds for a month. I found out that 5-MAPB is likely a less toxic brother of MDMA. Memantine is a nootropic that also is neuroprotective against MDMA neurotoxicity. I was so excited after I found it. I made an order for these two substances. I took them on the weekend, and nothing happened, nothing. It was kind of like a mild MDMA trip. I started laughing that I had to be crazy to think that I took some knowledge from a different dimension. There are no other dimensions, idiot. It was all in your head.

Fast forward three months, my friend is telling me about doing candy flip, “What is candy flip?” I asked. He told me it’s taking LSD and MDMA simultaneously, and there is a fantastic synergy between those two. Excited again, candy flip could be the answer. I made candy flip next month with LSD and MDMA to be only underwhelmed by the experience. It was better than LSD by itself but nothing compared to my first time with MDMA. I thought it’s over; there is no escape; only years of therapy is my option. My girlfriend moved out, said she couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t wait for me to get better, didn’t want to take care of me, needed to focus on herself. I accepted it.

I was brainstorming my options. By brainstorming, I mean even considering suicide, but I was too afraid of death and the concept of not being that I didn’t take any actions, but it was somber news for my psychiatrist. She had never seen that coming.

I found my notes from DMT trip, Memantine, and 5-MAPB, and I got an idea for a modified candy flip: 1P-LSD, Memantine, 5-MAPB.

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The Black Spider

That’s how The Black Spider Protocol was born. The name comes from black spiders I see 30 minutes after taking 5-MAPB in my protocol.

How The Black Spider changed my life?

  • Afterglow lasts weeks instead of one or two days
  • Ability to get deep into my flashbacks
  • Less irritable
  • More social
  • Better connection with my body
  • Better will to exercise
  • Better communication with my girlfriend
  • Better focus
  • More motivation to do my job and not getting fired

How typical The Black Spider trip looks?

  • DMT BREAKTHROUGH LIKE EXPERIENCE
  • You see the world in ULTRA HD FOR 12 hours
  • Black spiders crawling on the walls, but not threatening
  • Easy-going breakthrough experience compared to anxious DMT
  • Huge euphoria
  • Indescribable visuals, extremely 3d, brain rendering 3d games like fps shooters, strategy games, advanced chess
  • Kabala and Eastern Philosophy motifs. I saw the tree of life from Kabala two times. First time I didn’t know what it was and had to research it
  • You want to sing, and you are good at it, or you think you are great
  • Synesthesia — my flashbacks got the smell and were easier to process
  • Losing understanding of body position.; you don’t know what is left, right, up, down

I was hesitant to share this protocol to anyone. I used it six times with three months’ breaks. I am not sure if it will work long term for me, but now it’s my only solution. I am anxious about your safety. Please do everything you can to ensure your safety. It’s not for people who look for adventures or high in the party. It’s for us, dysfunctional people, locked in society that doesn’t understand us.

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The Black Spider Protocol

Side note: After my first time, I was concerned. I have done some medical checkups. EEG came back as not typical, and I had to make some calls, I was then really convinced I made myself some terrible damage. After talking with the doctor, she said we couldn’t assess you as regular; you have waves of someone in a deep state of meditation, like Tibetan monk. It happened one week after the first experiment.

SAFETY

Set and setting

  • You need at least three days of free time. It’s not a convenient protocol. It’s not for drugs enthusiasts, but for people who are struggling. I never had come down on it but was exhausted, take this into account.
  • The trip sitter is a must. This combination is complex and uses many drugs. Use this safety precaution always. I listed some research chemicals here, so it’s not a joke.
  • If you know the doctor you can trust, it’s reasonable to have him here. We don’t know much about this combo. On my first trips, I had a friend doctor who was checking my vitals and even took blood samples to check if there wasn’t a heart attack happening. The results came back all right. It was all in my head. The trip was more comfortable and productive with this support. Worrying about dying from an unknown drug combination is not a good thing.
  • Check your vitals. I wear Garmin Vivo Smart 4 wristband to check my pulse and body battery. I usually start getting in shape after two days, my body battery skyrockets to 100 on day 4. I was also checking pressure every 2 hours, mine stays quite low, but that could be different in your case.
  • Use Mindfold sleeping mask and music from MAPS MDMA protocol. If you can’t find Mindfold online, just use any sleeping mask you have.

Supplements:

Use MDMA routine supplements: Alpha Lipoic acid, vitamin C, Noopept, Magnesium, Ginger, ALC. I am also using less known Emoxypine. It’s a potent anxiolytic, antioxidant, and a great supplement protecting the heart.

It’s also good to have SSRI if comedown happens. That wasn’t my case, but like with MDMA 10mg of Lexapro 12 hours after a trip helps a lot.

If it gets tough:

  • You have to own benzodiazepine. The Fast-acting version is the best. Using sublingually will help with a quick onset. Lately, I needed to use one, and clonazepam was my choice. I took 1mg of clonazepam 3 hours into the trip just before taking 5-MAPB, it is a long-lasting benzodiazepine, and it will shallow the undertaking but in my case visuals are still there and most of the sensations, but it’s way easier
  • (Optional) I am on beta-blockers for my panic attacks. I only use it in emergencies, like with benzodiazepine. Beta-blockers lower heart rate and blood pressure. Tough call to take it during the trip, I only did it once, didn’t affect the quality of the experience.

You will need:

200ug of 1P-LSD normal LSD-25 would probably be fine, but the doses on streets vary, so this is the best way to be sure it gets you where you want.

80mg of Memantine, it’s not a well-known substance. It’s a nootropic without recreational value. Memantine is an NMDA antagonist in this dosage, also reverses tolerance to stimulants and boosts the effects of psychedelics. Doctors use it to treat Alzheimer’s. It’s one of those substances that protects from MDMA neurotoxicity. Another fun fact it’s h3 antagonist so you won’t be puking. Memantine is a drug with a very long half-life, more than 60 hours. This substance is probably behind the long-lasting trip.

200mg of 5-MAPB — It’s a fantastic drug on its own, kind of like MDMA, with less stimulation, but people don’t prefer it over MDMA and use the Borax combo. I tried Borax and have to say that I prefer my combo. That’s a considerable dose. I didn’t have success with anything below, but if it’s your first-time use just 100mg, probably you won’t breakthrough, but being on the safe side is better. Then with time, you can up dose to 200mg by increasing 20mg every three months.

250mg mega dose of NSI-189 — it’s a nootropic, atypical research chemical antidepressant that grows neurons in the hippocampus. Use this substance for a few weeks in lower doses like 10mg every day to get a feel, and it’s a good check for allergy. I take NSI-189 the next day. In some crazy way, it brings visuals back. I haven’t had any successes with this substance alone.

(Optional) I am on Testosterone Replacement Therapy, I don’t think it has anything to do with results I get from this protocol, but I can’t be 100% sure, so I am adding this to list. I have injections every Monday, and I trip every three months on Fridays. There are some studies that high doses of testosterone can increase serotonin transporter binding

(Optional) I am on Wellbutrin. I take 150 mg of sustained-release tablets every day. Don’t think it has any effect on the trip, but some deliriant qualities could be coming from it — black spiders.

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Protocol

Start with everything before 4 PM, LSD and Memantine are long-acting drugs, even if you start before this hour, sleep deprivation can happen, and you would be locked in a very long trip, that’s why the preparation is essential.

T +0:00 I take 200ug of 1P-LSD sublingually. An LSD trip, but I still use music from MDMA MAPS protocol.

T +03:00 I take 80mg Memantine and 200mg 5-MAPB in gel capsules. At this stage, I also use neuroprotective supplements.

T +03:45 Something weird happens, gears start shifting. I see black spiders coming out of walls, they are not threatening but show that trip is going to be intense.

T +04:00 Dimensional snap. Everything changes inside your house, you get ULTRA HD vision, rooms look much bigger, everything is centered, you have a feeling that you can see atoms as small yellow balls. Beings are coming out of walls, breakthrough like DMT experience happening but without any anxiety. Feeling that you know the secrets of the universe is almost always present, delusional thoughts happening also, don’t act on anything you are seeing on hearing. Stay safe.

T +12:00 Visuals should start to fade, but in my case, they disappear after I wake up the next day.

T +24:00 Take 250mg of NSI-189, in an hour it brings trip back with some violet visuals and strange body sensations in the forehead and spine. You get quick euphoria and „I want to sing” feeling. It is an important step that makes afterglow more impactful. Sometimes I also add 30mg of Memantine here and see palaces and forests, get feeling of floating in the air

T +48:00 All visuals should be gone, but a nice buzz and afterglow last more than a week. For the next weeks, I feel excellent. My thought patterns are more organized. I sometimes think this can’t be real or it’s a dream, working is super fun and making friends too, presentations don’t make me nervous.

It’s an exciting combo that I was hesitant to share, please take care and use it wisely. Share the info, and again I need to repeat: TAKE EVERY PRECAUTION NECESSARY IF YOU DECIDE ON TRYING IT, IT’S YOUR LIFE. I AM NOT ADVOCATING FOR DRUG USE, JUST WANTED TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCE. Thank you for staying until the end.

Best regards,

PTSD Engineer

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